these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just pee around me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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