He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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