Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
