well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
