You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
4 words: hood of his car
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
