I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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