Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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