i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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