Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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