id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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