New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Im part way to drunk.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
