Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
