DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
