I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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