I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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