So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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