in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
