atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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