I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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