My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
