Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
