do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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