I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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