I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
