If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
