I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
