So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
