Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
