we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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