dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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