if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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