No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize