I just cut my nipple shaving
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how does that bad decision feel?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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