She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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