U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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