Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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