Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
