Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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