Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize