Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
