My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
