You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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