Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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