You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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