You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize