I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize