I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
