I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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