coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fuck appropriateness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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