I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
