Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
