just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
