i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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