Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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