Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
