every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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