I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I bet he comes in French.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
