who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
