It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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