it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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