are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
